Kick the Poetry Can’ts #3
This exercise started off because I needed another “something extra” to keep in my teaching bad. I’d had a run of bad luck with getting the kids to write and all the warmup exercises kept falling down flat. If I couldn’t get them to warmup, I couldn’t get them to do much of anything else. So I started opening and shutting (okay, maybe slamming) the drawers in my desk and file cabinet thinking I would find an answer in there somewhere. And I did. Sort of.
In my stationary drawer I had a stack of envelopes that didn’t go with any cards or notes. Just a bunch of mismatched extras. And I started to wonder what the kids might do if they received an envelope that obviously had something in but they wouldn’t know what and they wouldn’t be allowed to open the envelopes. I took a stack of the envelopes and filled them all with something. Sometimes just a single Post-it note. Sometimes several sheets of paper (blank but they didn’t know that.) Then I sealed all the envelopes and proceeded to write on them, decorate them, drop them in the dirt, get them wet, crumple them up like they’ve been in someone’s pocket. All sorts of things to give them character.
In class I let everyone pick an envelope and I tell them that they can either be the person who just got this envelope in the mail or they are getting ready to send it.
I ask them to brainstorm 6 things about the envelope, simple story questions, WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, WHY and HOW.
And then to write a poem using those answers. I ask them to go back and revise with using the 5 senses. And for those that are really digging in about it’s “too hard” or “I don’t know what to write” I tell them they can do an acrostic if they like using the word LETTER or ENVELOPE.
I always tell the writers that they can make it all up. It doesn’t have to be real. But they almost always end up writing about something that actually happened to them.
There’s something that seems to happen when you are holding an envelope you know you can’t open. It usually gets people writing. (By the way, this is a great general creative writing exercise too.) It’s a little hard to do with just a photograph but let’s see what I can come up with. I’m picking that white envelope at the bottom with the phrase “Why won’t you talk to me?” on it. It’s crumpled and has been scuffed in the dirt a bit.
My brainstorm:
I’m thinking I just got the envelope and I’m trying to get up the nerve to open it. None of this is true. I’m just making it up as I go along.
- WHO? I’m pretty sure it’s from a neighbor who lived across the street from me years ago. She was always leaving little notes in my mailbox
- WHAT? It’s a yearly plea that comes, oddly enough, not at Christmas, but on my birthday.
- WHERE? I’m sitting in my car because I just picked up the mail at the post office
- WHEN? It’s my birthday. Early morning before the day has really gotten started
- WHY? We had a big fight over something horrible and I just can’t seem to forgive her, no matter how many times she asks.
- HOW? How am I going to get past this big rock in road?
Here’s my 10 minute poem. It’s very rough but I can see some things I like I might want to develop further.
Birthday mail
should make me smile
but a single envelope with
that familiar loopy handwriting
I used to try to mimic
makes my heart jump to a not-so-happy place.
A can near the door of the Post Office bekconed,
your offering would have been
a perfect gift to the garbage gods
but I couldn’t let go
anymore than I could
forget or forgive.
Neighborly notes of love
landed up in my mailbox
near every day
for the seven years
you lived across the street from me
thanking me
for blueberries
babysitting
and listening to you cry
when your mother died
until the day came
when I couldn’t listen
anymore
because everything you said
was a lie.
I hate your lies
but more than that
I hate what you stole
from me
the friend I thought you’d
always be
the smile I thought I’d
always have
every time
I saw your name.
–Susan Taylor Brown, all rights reserved
Your turn, if you care to play along.
Original art by Susan Taylor Brown
I haven’t been able to come up with my own poems, but I am really loving these posts.
Thanks for reading along, Jenn.
WHY NOT ?
I cannot throw this letter out
I really don’t know why
For every time I look at it
It nearly makes me cry
I remember the day I saw it
In such a sorry state
When I opened it and looked inside
Then read about your fate
The envelope should have said it all
“Why not? never mind
Even that did not prepare me
For what I was about to find
You told me that you loved me
that I already knew
Then upon the next line
You said that were were through
I didn’t understand this
So I kept reading at great speed
Until I read the line of course
That told me of your great need
Your need to end you life
Because nothing was going right
You said you could see no other way
No more strength to fight
You spared me the details of the end
Although I will always wonder how
And why you did not come to me
Too late to help you now
Why not? Never mind !
- Anne McKenna
Anne, I really liked these two stanzas a lot:
Your need to end you life
Because nothing was going right
You said you could see no other way
No more strength to fight
You spared me the details of the end
Although I will always wonder how
And why you did not come to me
Too late to help you now
When you’re in a revising mood, I think you could do some more work on this one and get it to really shine.
WHY NOT ?
My heart says keep this letter
You know exactly why
For it reminds me of you
I still cry every time I think of it
I remember the day vividly
A piece of rubbish I thought
I opened it and looked inside
Then read about your fate
The envelope should have said it all
“Why not? never mind
I did not understand that
I still don’t to this day
You told me that you loved me
I honestly loved you too
Then I read the next line
My heart sank to through the floor
It was one of the saddest things
such heartfelt deep emotion
It was quite a long letter
It went on for some time
I read it all through blurry eyes
With tears streaming down my face
I had to sit down my knees went weak
But I felt compelled to read
Your need to end your life
Because nothing was going right
You said you could see no other way
No more strength to carry on
You spared me the details of the end
Although I will always wonder
And why did you not come to me?
Too late to help you now
Why not? Never mind !
- Anne McKenna
(Take 2)
Nice job revising, Anne.
Found a typo. Should be parents’
sorry
ellie
I almost didn’t find your post since it is below the second for some reason. I like the last verse best of your poem. The anguish is palpable.
I drew a complete blank on the envelopes in your picture, then this came to mind.
An envelope came
from the school
to my parents -
the official looking kind.
I like to think
it holds big news -
that I won some award,
got nominated
to an honor society,
that I need to attend
the sports banquet.
But my parents’ faces
as they read the letter
tell another story:
failing grades again.
- ellie
Thanks for catching that I put the posts in the wrong order. I fixed it! Also fixed the typo for
Love the way your imagination took you with the envelope. I can totally see this scene. Well done.
Thank you for fixing my typo, Susan. Then I found another… I should have had more coffee before posting. lol
I am amazed at how easily your prompts lead to poems. I hope to keep playing next week, but my days are about to get busy.
ellie
Let me know what you want me to fix, ellie. I’m always finding typos in mine after the fact, even with the coffee.
I’m so glad the prompts are leading to poems for you. Even if you can’t play on the day, you’ll know where to come when you have some free time again.
You are so sweet to offer Susan. In my poem:
as the read the letter should be
as they read the letter
and in my reply mentioning coffee, I said my day are about to get busy. Should have read days! Face Palm!!!
ellie
ellie,
All fixed!
Susan