Kick the Poetry Can’ts #7
With the students I usually work with, we do one or two steps forward into touchy territory, and then we go back to something fun and easy. Some kids will continue to go deep and some will take the opportunity for a break and write an easy poem. I have a collection of ordinary items that I rotate in a basket to bring in for days like these. You can pull something from your junk drawer or start your own treasure chest. On my own desk I have nature items to inspire me, favorite rocks and twigs and dried flowers and leaves. Depending on the group, we either stay serious and write about the item as it really is or sometimes we go off and pretend that it is anything but what we are holding in our hand. I pass the basket and everyone picks one item out that speaks to them. I encourage them to brainstorms the basics of what it looks and feels like and then to just jot down anything that comes to mind. Make a list. So many poems can come out of the lists. Then they can go back and take that list, add some more details, and shape it into a poem.
Because I have been focusing on (obsessing) the hummingbird nesting in my yard, I think for this poem, I’m going to pick up those binoculars.
Here’s my rough poem, a trio of haiku.
snug in high branches
grandfather’s binoculars
bring the magic close
close enough to touch
iridescent feathers wave
while wind rocks the nest
while wind rocks the nest
baby hummingbirds slumber
snug in high branches
—Susan Taylor Brown, all rights reserved
Original art by Susan Taylor Brown
But Susan, you write so beautifully and publish books!! I hope you send some out, and soon!
Glad you liked my haiku.
ellie
I’m trying to get brave about submitting individuals, ellie. Thanks.
THE THOUGHT’S IN A CHILD’S MIND
Why would I keep this rock?
Oh how could I ever forget.
I picked it up off the ground.
I wanted something to remind me
Of the day I almost died.
The thoughts in a child’s mind
I was hanging so precariously
Over the edge of a cliff
My father holding just one arm
Me screaming “Let me go
Hurry, you know you want to”
The thoughts in a child’s mind
I was shouting quite loudly now
Desperation in every part of me
“Just say it was an accident,
Now’s you chance, the perfect excuse
You always said I was a burden”
The thought’s in a child’s mind
Then I felt him pull me up
Without even saying a word
No hug, no kiss, no emotion
It was like it was something
That happened everyday to him
The thought’s in a child’s mind
With tear stained face
And heavy heart, I walked
No one else had seen you see
For they were all far ahead
He had missed his opportunity
The thought’s in a child’s mind
I can’t help wondering to this day
How different things could have been
Would he have even missed me? I think not!
Instead he had imperfection. so great
He reminded me every time I looked at him
He could never look back at me.
The thought’s in a child’s mind.
- Anne McKenna
Anne, I’m sorry I missed responding to this. So much emotion in here. I tell you, this line jumped out at me:
Of the day I almost died.
And I wondered about trying a pantoum or using some sort of repetition with that throughout the poem? Just a thought.
Oh Susan, this is too beautiful not to comment. I love how your haiku wraps back to its beginning, yet each verse uniquely provides a window to your view.
You had posted a chain haiku during the book club which inspired me to change a twice rejected poem into chain haiku format that was then accepted. I am glad to have the chance to thank you for that.
Here’s a quick haiku for Easter:
cheerful colored eggs
celebrate a holiday
somber until Sunday
ellie
Thank you, ellie. This was a quick one last night because my brain was fried so I’m glad it made sense to someone other than me. How wonderful to hear that you were able to revise a poem and then make the sale. Congratulations! I have yet (gulp) to submit any poems anywhere.
Love your happy Easter haiku!