I was looking for a theme of the year and had posted that it was going to be GRATITUDE, which I still think is the one I am most keeping at the forefront. But this weekend it occurred to me that it is also shaping up to be a year of LETTING GO.
I want to let go of so much emotional baggage I’ve been carrying around for years.
I want to let go of expectations.
I want to let go of toxic people in my life.
I want to let go of one-way relationships.
I want to let go all this stupid worry that I am doing "it" (whatever "it" that might be at the time) wrong.
I want to let go of not writing what it is I want to write because someone said that "trend" was over or they were sick of it or they didn’t think it would ever sell.
A few days ago
had an interesting post (which she often does) about chosing a theme for the year. It stuck with me but I wasn’t sure what the right theme would be for me. I often push myself to write where it hurts and go deep. I try to lose control (though I pretty much stink at it.)
This time off work has given me a lot of opportunity for self-reflection (some might say too much.) I want to be a better writer than I was the year before. More importantly, I want to be a better person.
I was talking about this desire with a close friend who knows me very well and she pointed out that I can often have a bleak outlook or send out downer, depressing vibes. And I admit that sometimes, yes, that’s all I can feel. I struggle with family members in great need (that I can’t help with) and I struggle with my own health issues, but as this friend pointed out, there are people who are as low as can possibly be, who have absolutely no reason to be happy and yet they are still very positive people. Of course there is the opposite as well, people who have no problems (or not huge ones) and have every reason to be happy yet they go around all gloom and doom and depressed.
She said, “It’s almost as though you’re afraid to be happy.” Ouch. So keeping that in mind as well as trying to step a bit outside my introverted zone, my theme for 2008 is to REACH OUT WITH JOY.
I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.
Happy New Year to everyone.